I Really Dont understand cat people. Really? a cat massage? this is crazy.
Enjoy.
Love Tomas K. Bohan
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Game-Changer
Since the dawn of time, the fairness of coin flips has been an undisputed fact, a truth no one in their right mind could ever seriously argue. However, after vigorous analysis, three academics at Stanford recently determined otherwise. They claim coin tosses are not random.
Here's what Slate is reporting:
"The startling finding is they aren't random. Instead, for natural flips, the chance of a coin coming up on the same side as it started is about 51 percent. Heads facing up predicts heads; tails facing up predicts tails."
What?!
Wait, WHAT?! All of a sudden I feel very yucky and need to take a shower. I'll be right back.
Okay I'm back, and I'm pissed.
Wtf. It's 2009, people. For centuries we've relied on coin tosses to settle tiebreakers, overtimes and who gets the last piece of pizza, and now they figure this out? Can we trust anything anymore? What truth will be shit on next, Gravity? The Constitution?? Rock Paper Scissors???
I suppose this is yet another example of why basketball is the greatest activity on the planet. It's the last true sport because in basketball there are no coin flips—all disputes are settled with jump balls. And that's brilliant because the jump ball is the ultimate test of wit, skill and tallness. Everything in life should be so just.
So in light of Stanford's study I demand that all game show hosts, NFL officials and last-piece-of-pizza-giver-outers immediately take a cue from the NBA and have the people involved jump at basketballs whenever there is any doubt about anything. Ever.
—ACE
Here's what Slate is reporting:
"The startling finding is they aren't random. Instead, for natural flips, the chance of a coin coming up on the same side as it started is about 51 percent. Heads facing up predicts heads; tails facing up predicts tails."
What?!
Wait, WHAT?! All of a sudden I feel very yucky and need to take a shower. I'll be right back.
Okay I'm back, and I'm pissed.
Wtf. It's 2009, people. For centuries we've relied on coin tosses to settle tiebreakers, overtimes and who gets the last piece of pizza, and now they figure this out? Can we trust anything anymore? What truth will be shit on next, Gravity? The Constitution?? Rock Paper Scissors???
I suppose this is yet another example of why basketball is the greatest activity on the planet. It's the last true sport because in basketball there are no coin flips—all disputes are settled with jump balls. And that's brilliant because the jump ball is the ultimate test of wit, skill and tallness. Everything in life should be so just.
So in light of Stanford's study I demand that all game show hosts, NFL officials and last-piece-of-pizza-giver-outers immediately take a cue from the NBA and have the people involved jump at basketballs whenever there is any doubt about anything. Ever.
—ACE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)